Monday, September 9, 2013


Argg. Meaning. Purpose. The point!!

My life was fraught with emptiness. I lived alone in a tiny apartment and floundered. I sat in front of screens for my job and then at home for entertainment. My connections were present, but meaningless. I did things that I thought were good works, positive things to benefit society and make this world a better place, blah blah blah. They did not fill me; meaningless.

Now, I live in a house, with a spousal unit and two offspring units. I still try to be a decent, upstanding citizen, but the emptiness persists. A wise man once said that everything is meaningless, and I agree. I just cannot fill my meaning hole.

Said the idiot.

People needn't search for meaning like a needle in a haystack in a room behind one of a thousand similar locked doors that only open if you have a special key that you received from a forest green leprechaun on the first Sunday of a July in an odd year. Meaning is everywhere. If you can't find meaning, then you aren't looking, you dolt. Meaning is so prevalent it makes the world feel like some sort of candy-landish, pink, fluffy nightmare. (But, don't worry, the ponies are usually able to bring order back to Equestria by the end of the episode.)

There is meaning in relationship, meaning in work, meaning in play. There is meaning in joy and meaning in sorrow. There is meaning in nature and meaning in man's creations.

It sickens me how much awesome stuff there is out there to find meaning in. Where do I start getting fulfilled?

There is no place better than religion. For what is religion but a defining of order and meaning in our existence. Religion is any set of beliefs predicated on faith.

But religion is also that which we hold to be the highest in our lives. A Nascar fan is as much a religious fanatic as an outdoorsman worshiping nature.

The problem with organized religion is that in choosing one, you are agreeing to settle and find meaning in the values of that particular ideology. Can a believer in Jesus also believe in dozens of Hindu gods? Can a Muslim embrace astrology? No!

This mutual exclusivity saddens me. As if one brand has a monopoly on truth. If Joseph Smith is the true prophet for one person, and Mohammad is the true prophet for another; can I not revere one this week and the other next week. I want to worship candy to the exclusion of all other means of sustenance this week; and next week I want to only eat black beans and water chestnuts as part of my cleansing ritual as I prepare to enter the presence of my alien overlord, who I believe will be returning to a ditch on Route 69 later this month to return us to our rightful places as rulers of the planet Delousiona.

Each week a different god, each week a different chance to find meaning. Each week another set of beliefs and tenets and rituals and sacraments to chronicle and adhere to. What a thrilling journey!

Join me, won't you. Don't get bogged down in searching for meaning and something to worship and tithe to on your own. Here at Cult of the Week, we'll voyage the plentiful seas of possibility together.

And don't worry, T-shirts and mugs and other identifying paraphernalia will be soon be available for “reasonable suggested donations.”

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