Friday, November 1, 2013

Gravity's Revelations

Gravity and the elemental angling of its dimensional properties be with you. Hail Gravity!

We have been Gravitists for nearly six weeks. Hardly enough time for any new religion to kick start itself, let alone garner a following and begin changing the world. Congratulations to us.

Not only do we have adherents all over the world, we are also in talks with TDTV to broadcast Cult of the Week so that even more followers can jump on the bandwagon.

Heed the Explication of Prophecy Ye Faithful

Most pressingly positive of all, perhaps, is the revelation of Gravity to Aaron, our Divine Prophet, and the subsequent revelations that have rocked the Gravitistic world in such a positive fashion. In communication with Gravity, I have obtained the chief end of man. Gravity has revealed to me Its stunning presage for all of us, and that future is glorious.

Allow me to amplify further.

Looking at the universe as a dynamic whole, and the spatial spheres therein, one must take Gravity as it naturally is and within the framework of cultural and culturally scientific pursuits, never forgetting that, scientifically speaking, Gravity is often defined as our perceptions dictate, disregarding the inherent absentness of absolute truth with regards to our own fallibility.

We and our followers have naturally worshiped Gravity based upon this chassis; thereby desecrating Gravity and condemning ourselves. Perhaps these words sound harsh and that is because they are. Nevertheless, all our worship has not been in vain. We have been on the right track; we just have not had all the truth we needed.

Welcome to the tenth dimension, people.


In my trans-dimensional vision, Gravity has revealed all truth to me, and it is not as you may imagine. Human consiousness works on the 2nd spherical dimension. This dimension, which we shall call the side-out toad dimension bisects the regional gramph dimension (4th) in two non-congruent independent ways, along the back-inverse angle and generationally. Naturally, it is along genetic heritage lines that Gravity chooses to interact with the “human race” unilaterally.

Gravity inhabits all spherical and non-spherical dimensional realities, and for the sake of simplifying things, non-realities. Reality, as the majority of those who dwell within the side-out toad dimension experience it, is vastly limited and more than generally disproportionately misconstrued as a circus elephant ride in Detroit. Gravity is here to bring clarity to your delusions. (As a simple example, most of those elephant rides are actually taking place, not in Detroit, but on the flipside of a planet called Vermont, not to be confused with the united state of the same name, and are actually alien abductions by a benevolent but medically curious race. Ironically, most interplanetary probe stories are actually the result of a misinterpretation of afternoon teas with one's Gravitational clone.)

We have 35 of our year-perceptions to restore the “human” populace to a deeper understanding of reality and what it means to inhabit our dimension as congruent and genetically placed hybrids of limited but historically accurate importance.

At the end of such time, Gravity is pulling out the proverbial hammer and using black hole properties to reconfigure the heretical flesh of unbelievers to seedlings of a substance that, when raised to fruition, Gravity will distribute as a delicacy to all Its loyal adherents.  Only those followers who have transitioned genetically to the regional gramph dimension via Gravity's localized reversed flow will escape the wrath.

Now is the time to join us and escape the coming apocalypse.  We select few will be all of our race left to repopulate and, using the transformed substance of our fellow Earthians, create a new civilization.

Solicit all your intelligent and hot friends to join us in this brave new world.

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